Day 56 of coronavirus in France
Day 5 of enforced confinement
Here’s the real reason why you are angry
Your brain is hardwired to react to a lack of control or respect. Think about the last time you were a little angry. What was going on? Was someone disrespectful? What did you want to control? Use this exercise to analyze the biggest conflict and the smallest and categorize the elements of conflict as they relate to control or respect.
Today Cami asked to get out the Gentleness Game. It’s an exercise that I created for kids going through transitions that fills their creative toolbox with coping mechanisms and ways to communicate injustice and regain respect without lashing out. It’s tailored to each situation. We talk about the inappropriate behavior and print stock photos to represent them. Then we brainstorm twice as many appropriate behaviors that would be more effective in their fight for justice. We involve cards, gests, chanting, charades and role play to rewire our circuits until the chosen reaction become the new normal.
Take a step back and look at what you’ve been living these last few days.
| What they told you | What research is revealing |
| Transmitted by touch, droplets | Transmitted by breath, hangs air 3 hrs |
| Only fragile people are susceptible | 50% of ICU patients are under 60 yrs |
| Death rate was the same as flu | Death rate is exponentially higher relative to the country’s reaction |
| Don’t meet in large groups | Don’t cross people on the sidewalk |
| Test those needing hospitalization | Test everyone |
| The sick wear masks | Everyone wears masks |
| Take off school and work for two weeks | This may take more than two months |
| Go vote | Don’t go out |
| The # confirmed cases reflects all infected | The # confirmed cases = only acute cases, not the millions who are carriers |
I don’t think most of us have taken the time to assess the stressors in our lives. Allowing stressors to accumulate compounds the effect of new triggers. Naming them drains them of their power over us.
The thing about constantly changing information is that once you’ve accepted the new normal it becomes fact and it’s harder to unlearn. Fortunately, humans never stop learning. You will catch up. In the meantime, I know it’s hard.
We all know a coronavirus positive Grandmother who is quarantined from her husband and family.
We all know a coronavirus positive mother quarantined from her infant.
Italy has lost 14 healthcare workers, heroes fallen on the battlefield, and their war has not yet plateaued. (source)
In Madrid a patient dies every 16 minutes. (source)
“Adopting the right attitude
— Hans Selye (endocrinologist and the first to introduce the concept of stress in 1936.)
can convert a negative stress into a positive one.”
Holmes & Rahe Stress Scale
Stress due to change and transition.
“Self care starts with self awareness”
In the last two years, which of these stressors have I been affected by?
Write down the values for each of the stressors that apply to you.
_____ 100 Death of Spouse
_____ 73 Divorce
_____ 65 Marital Separation or from relationship partner
_____ 63 Jail Term
_____ 63 Unemployment
_____ 63 Death of close family member
_____ 53 Personal injury or illness
_____ 50 Marriage
_____ 47 Fired from work
_____ 45 Marital reconciliation
_____ 45 Retirement
_____ 44 Change in family member’s health
_____ 40 Pregnancy
_____ 39 Sex difficulties
_____ 39 Addition to family
_____ 39 Business readjustment
_____ 38 Change in financial status
_____ 37 Death of close friend
_____ 36 Change to a different line of work
_____ 35 Change in number of marital arguments
_____ 31 Mortgage or loan over $30,000
_____ 30 Foreclosure of mortgage or loan
_____ 29 Change in work responsibilities
_____ 29 A child leaves the home
_____ 29 Trouble with in-laws
_____ 28 Outstanding personal achievement
_____ 26 Spouse begins or stops work
_____ 26 Starting or finishing school
_____ 25 Change in living conditions
_____ 24 Revision of personal habits
_____ 23 Trouble with boss
_____ 20 Change in work hours, conditions
_____ 20 Change in residence
_____ 20 Change in schools
_____ 19 Change in recreational habits
_____ 19 Change in church activities
_____ 18 Change in social activities
_____ 17 Mortgage or loan under $20,000
_____ 16 Change in sleeping habits
_____ 15 Change in number of family gatherings
_____ 15 Change in eating habits
_____ 13 Vacation
_____ 12 Christmas season
_____ 11 Minor violations of the law
_____ Total
Self-Care is Soul Care
This scale shows the kind of life pressure that you are facing. This scale paired with your coping skills or the lack thereof, is scientifically proven to predict the likelihood that you will fall victim to a stress related illness. The illness could be mild – frequent tension headaches, acid indigestion, loss of sleep to very serious illness like ulcers, cancer, migraines and the like. Telling yourself to “calm-down” is insufficient if you are not actively countering your stressors with stress busters : learn to take a moment to breathe, affirm truth, denounce the devils lies, visualize yourself victorious in Christ in this situation, and get ready to feel good!
Stress Scale Scoring
0-149 Low susceptibility to stress-related illness
150-299 Medium susceptibility to stress-related illness.
Learn and practice relaxation and stress management skills and a healthy well lifestyle.
300 and over High susceptibility to heart attack or stress-related illness
Daily practice of relaxation skills is very important for your wellness. Take care of it now before a serious illness erupts or an affliction becomes worse.
Holmes & Rahe could add:
_____ Separation from family
_____ Change in spiritual atmosphere
_____ New protocol every day
_____ Change in surrounding culture
What value would you give these life change events?
The NeuroEndoMetabolic (NEM) Stress Response is our body’s overall approach to reduce stress. Its effectiveness has a direct relationship with the supplements and foods we put into our bodies. Foods like ginger, garlic, turmeric, and basil boost the immune system response and physical symptoms of stress. (4.)
Psalm 18:1-19
I love you, O LORD , my strength.
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call to the LORD , who is worthy of praise,
and I am saved from my enemies.
The cords of death entangled me;
the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
The cords of the grave coiled around me;
the snares of death confronted me.
In my distress I called to the LORD ;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears.
The earth trembled and quaked,
and the foundations of the mountains shook;
they trembled because he was angry.
Smoke rose from his nostrils;
consuming fire came from his mouth,
burning coals blazed out of it.
He parted the heavens and came down;
dark clouds were under his feet.
He mounted the cherubim and flew;
he soared on the wings of the wind.
He made darkness his covering,
his canopy around him
the dark rain clouds of the sky.
Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,
with hailstones and bolts of lightning.
The LORD thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most High resounded.
He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies ,
great bolts of lightning and routed them.
The valleys of the sea were exposed
and the foundations of the earth laid bare
at your rebuke, O LORD ,
at the blast of breath from your nostrils.
He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the LORD was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he
delighted
in me. (3.)
1. Hans Selye,“The Psychology and Pathology of Exposure to Stress”, ACTA. Inc.Medical Publishers, 1940.
2. Holmes, T.H. and Rahe, R.H. (1967). “The Social Readjustment Rating Scale,” Journal of Psychosomatic Research II (2), 213-218.
3. Psalm 18:1-19, New International Version.
4. Dr.Lam, “A Simple Guide to Natural Immune Boosters,” DrLam.com, 2017 : https://www.drlam.com/blog/a-simple-guide-to-natural-immune-boosters/27045/?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Lifestyle&utm_campaign=171019